This past weekend, I took JT on a little adventure. Adventure might not be the right word, if you were to ask JT however. In this season of giving and thankfulness, I embraced a new opportunity that was offered to me – an exercise in giving back, and I knew that it was important to include my son as well.
Of the 65 parks in Chula Vista, this was the one that the city deemed in most need of assistance, so early on a Saturday morning, we hopped in the car and met a group of people to clean up the park. About two dozen Southern Californians gathered to pick up trash, pull weeds, and rake up the discarded landscaping trimmings.
As with any new venture I take on, my anxiety kicks in right before I begin a project and this was no different. When I first had trouble locating the group of unknown strangers we’d be working beside, I almost gave up quickly and left the parking lot without giving it much thought. Instead, I fought the urge to flee and found who we were looking for. We parked, got out of the car, and joined them.
JT and I started out by pulling on some gloves, grabbing a trash bag and finding a less populated part of the park to start picking up trash. He was very excited about the trash picker and the enthusiasm kept him going for a solid five minutes. After properly discarding cigarette butts and plastic bottle caps and snack wrappers in the trash bag for an hour, we moved closer to the park’s play structure to assist with the landscaping clean up. In hindsight, this was JT’s goal all along – get to the play structure!
At the time, I found myself getting frustrated with JT as he tired quickly of the volunteer work. I kept trying to motivate him with a delicate balance of promises and threats, expectant that my 8 year old son would find unexpected joy in helping others and that would instill in him a sense of gratitude he’d never recognized before. That was the story I told myself. It was a fantasy. It was a piece of fiction. It was not based on real-life experience whatsoever because I, too, recall being a very bored 8 year old when it came to donating my time and efforts to something that wasn’t intended to bring me pleasure. I caved and let him play at the park with the other children while I helped out the adults.
“I don’t think this was the exercise in gratitude and selflessness that I was hoping it would be,” I confessed to my wise childless boyfriend over the phone when we returned home. He could see my point after I described the day to him, but he also reminded me that this was only the first time that I’ve taken JT to do something like this and he told me to just think about how much better it will be by the time he’s a teenager and doing selfless acts like this will seem normal to him rather than a surprise. He also reminded me that JT hasn’t gotten to play with other kids like that in ages. I often need his unique point of view to help me see outside of my own limited perspective and I so appreciate it.
Sometimes opportunities come from the most unlikeliest of places. For instance, this one came about from my financial planner that I just started working with as our world collapsed in on itself back in March. He’s just started rounding up these groups to clean local parks because he is also a father and wants to lead by example with his little one. This will continue to be something I share with JT as a volunteer opportunity we can do together. I’d love to hear your suggestions for volunteer work with your kids. Leave me a comment.